(Difford/Tilbrook) 
WARNING: These lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. They represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see.  
 

I can't stop my heart from beating beating  
Bang bang bang bang (bang bang bang bang)  
I would like to be like Peter Peter  
Pan Pan Pan Pan (bang bang bang bang)  
CHORUS  
Staying younger by the day  
My good looks will never fade  
I hope I can can can can  
(bang bang bang bang)  

Napoleon was very brave  
Incomplete he took to his grave  
Josephine was such a joke  
Kept her letter inside his coat  

V. Van Gogh was so I hear  
One to send his love an ear  
Some impression this would make  
This was to be his big mistake  

Catherine lost her pretty head  
She wasn't very good in bed  
Didn't wear a hat again  
She got so wet out in the rain  

I can't stop my heart from beating beating  
Bang bang bang bang (bang bang bang bang)  
I would like to be like Peter Peter  
Pan Pan Pan Pan (bang bang bang bang)  

CHORUS  

CHORUS  

Can can can can (bang bang bang bang)